"Uh... ...........Lady Mani-hime? Is that... you?"
"Ding-ding, you got it~♪"
With that, the beauty wrapped her arms tight around Ashino from behind.
As for Ashino, meanwhile...........
"Guh-gyaaah-imee-pitah-eh-vuh.........."
He seemed thoroughly out of his mind, babbling something entirely incomprehensible.
Mani-hime breezed right past his shrieking, leaned in close, and breathed a hot sigh into his ear before whispering sweetly.
"Honestly... I keep telling you, we're engaged, so just call me Mani already... but you're always so distant, Tacchan..."
"Uh, heh... sorry 'bout that..."
Mani-hime melted against him happily, while Ashino's face went pale, his voice still cracked with panic.
After giving him another tight squeeze, she asked, almost offhand.
"By the way, who are Sakura, Momo, Ume, and Kiku?"
Her voice had turned icy cold as she asked, and Ashino, trembling, managed a reply.
"Uh...........I could tell you, but... what are you gonna do about it?"
"I'll get rid of them."
She answered quietly, her face and voice utterly without hesitation.
"Any pest that lays a hand on Tacchan gets exterminated."
"They're all guys! You just mistook 'em 'cause they're ripped and got big man-boobs!"
Everyone within earshot silently screamed the same objection.
((((( That's a stretch, and you know it!? )))))
But upon hearing this, Mani-hime simply smiled.
"Oh, well then, that's fine."
((((( Fine!? Seriously!? )))))
Mani-hime flashed a bright smile and planted a kiss on the trembling, chattering lips of Ashino, while the customers around them screamed silently in their heads.
A clear smear of lipstick remained on his mouth afterward, though she seemed not to care in the least.
Just then, one of the men noticed something about Mani-hime and cried out.
"Th-there are six red dots on this woman's forehead! ...She's a Spider Woman!"
"""""Whaaaaat!?!?"""""
Hearing this, the Kabukimono in the tavern finally began to piece together what was going on.
"Don't tell me... he's been running from a Spider Woman?"
"So that's the way of it..."
"Yeah, that'd be rough, no doubt about it..."
"Well, that finally explains it..."
The other Kabukimono, having caught on, muttered amongst themselves.
Now, there exists a term: the Three Great Yanderes of the Realm.
It's a phrase spoken of throughout this world of Toyoashihara, home to countless demi-humans and divine-blooded folk alike, and it refers to three races: the Snow Spirit, the Snake Woman, and the Spider Woman.
These three races love with a terrible intensity. Once one of them falls for someone, she will chase him to the ends of the earth, demanding an eternal bond.
Their devotion is so overwhelming, in fact, that a steady stream of men has always fled from it.
And as Ashino's use of the honorific 'Lady' made clear, Mani-hime outranked him considerably in status, but this too was quite common: among the upper classes, love this heavy meant proper arranged marriages simply never got off the ground.
Devotion so single-minded was admirable, in its way, but far too heavy for political convenience, so such matches were invariably foisted off onto some young man among the family's retainers instead.
And it was a well-known fact that young men who fled such engagements often ended up becoming Kabukimono, so everyone present grasped the situation at once.
With everyone else catching on, Mōha, standing right there, put it together just as quickly.
"So... this is why you became a Kabukimono?"
"...Yeah. That's exactly why."
Ashino wept quietly, tears streaming down.
Just then, a commotion arose out on the street.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud...
Some heavy footsteps were approaching.
"What in the world is that?"
"Whatever it is, it's really moving..."
The tavern patrons stared out, bewildered, at the cloud of dust rising off the road.
"MY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADYYYYYYYYY!!!!"
Something came barreling toward the tavern in a swirl of dust.
Ashino's face twisted in dread at the sight.
"Don't tell me..."
"Oh, Granny Moon's here too."
The dust-wrapped shape barreled straight toward Ashino, and then...
"Hyah!"
With a graceful leap right in front of him...
CRUNCH!!
she landed square in seiza, both knees planted directly on top of Ashino's head!
"My deepest apologies, my lady! This old woman could not locate that cockroach anywhere!"
"Um... if you mean Tacchan, he's right under you, Granny Moon..."
Mani-hime couldn't help looking a little baffled.
The one she was speaking to was a tiny, elderly woman.
Her face was deeply lined with wrinkles, and she wore a perfectly ordinary traveling outfit, kimono and leg wraps.
The rabbit ears atop her head marked her as one of the Rabbit-folk.
Her snow-white hair was done up in twin buns, which somehow made her seem, against all odds, rather adorable.
The sight of this sweet-looking granny prostrating herself before Mani-hime while standing on Ashino's skull was, to say the least, deeply surreal.
With tears of frustration in her eyes, the old woman spoke to Mani-hime.
"This old woman failed to carry out your command, my lady... how it galls me, to have grown so old and useless!"
Stomp-stomp-stomp-stomp!!
Weeping with frustration, she took it out on whatever was beneath her.
Of course, that happened to be Ashino's head. After being stomped over and over, he finally lost his temper and tried to shove her off.
"You crusty old hag!"
"Whoops."
Hop~♪
Ashino swung his arm wildly to knock her away, but the old woman skipped nimbly out of reach.
And then...
THUNK!!
she dropped her knees right back onto his head, settling once more into a perfect seiza atop his skull.
"But my, wherever could that cockroach have gotten to... this old woman simply cannot find him anywhere~"
"Granny Moon... you totally know exactly what you're doing, don't you?"
Granny Moon maintained her innocent act with magnificent shamelessness, while Mani-hime's expression turned pained.
This old woman's name was Usagi Tsukino.
She had served as Mani-hime's attendant for years, having cherished and cared for her since she was small.
As should be plain by now, she held an unshakable loyalty to Mani-hime, though she also harbored the rather troublesome habit of despising Ashino with her whole heart.
Seeing that this was going nowhere fast, Mōha stepped in to help.
"Look... I don't really understand what's going on here, and I'd like an explanation eventually, but could you please get off of Ashino first, ma'am?"
"Oh! How rude of this old woman, forgive me!"
With that, the old woman...
THUNK! Grind!
gave one last thorough, twisting stomp for good measure before hopping down off of him.