"WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
Mōha, at his wit's end over the blubbering fool in front of him, suddenly found himself curious about something and asked.
"Look, trying to make a move on an oiran was crazy to begin with. There was no way that was ever gonna work."
"Bu-butttt... when someone that gorgeous touches you, you can't help but think you gotta start dating, right...?"
"No, that ain't a standard for anything. If that's all it took, you'd have to date every woman in all three worlds."
"I'm gonna become the Breeding King! So that's exactly how it oughta be!"
"It ain't how it oughta be! The women who actually fall for it are the ones who get hurt!"
Yasutaka wailed on, pulling every virgin-brained move in the book, while Mōha just looked exasperated.
Sniffling and snuffling, Yasutaka kept right on grumbling.
"When they say stuff like 'I like gentle men' or 'someone like you is my type,' there's nothing left to do but date 'em, and I got tons of letters too..."
"Those were obviously mass-printed sales postcards. I don't know how you got so worked up over 'em..."
Mōha put his head in his hands.
Now, letterpress printing did exist in this world, mind you.
Though most of it was done by combining pre-made stamps, and there were even trades built around it, seal-carvers and woodblock printers and the like.
"Besides, plenty of cards like that get sent to your row house too. What were their names again, Kiku, Sakura, all sorts of postcards came for you, didn't they?"
The moment he heard that, Yasutaka's wailing stopped dead.
As a rule, Kabukimono lived in communal lodging houses called Kabukimono Row.
Since most stayed for long stretches, it was common to live in units that already came furnished to some degree.
Think of it as something like a modern-day monthly rental apartment.
Living in a place like that, of course a postcard or two would find its way to him... and Yasutaka's face suddenly lit up as if he'd just remembered something important.
"That's right! Now that I think about it, I still got Kiku-chan, Sakura-chan, Ume-chan, and Momo-chan! It ain't just one woman! I still got four of 'em!"
"...... I'll say this with total confidence: not one of them exists. It's a complete fantasy."
Yasutaka had begun spouting logic that made no sense whatsoever, and Mōha's head sank further into his hands.
"My road to becoming the Breeding King has only just begun! Everyone, stay tuned for this Yasutaka's next girlfriend!"
"The way you said that already sounds over and done with... well, guess it's accurate, so fine. Hey, old man, check please."
"Comin' right up."
With Yasutaka's delusions finally reaching some kind of pause, Mōha paid up and was just about to leave when it happened.
Slip...
A beautiful woman's hands covered Yasutaka's eyes from behind.
"Guess who~♪"
A mischievous, lovely voice rang out through the tavern.
Everyone in the tavern froze at the sight, utterly dumbstruck.
(((((Who is that? Who's that beauty?)))))
Standing behind Yasutaka was a woman of a beauty the likes of which no one there had ever seen.
Her large, double-lidded red eyes tilted upward at the corners, yet the touch of rouge at the corners only sharpened her beauty.
Her face, a diamond shape so flawlessly proportioned it seemed almost unreal, wore a mischievous grin, and the gap between that childish smile and such stunning beauty struck everyone at once.
Her glossy black hair rippled in waves all the way down to her ankles, and a single strand swept back from her brow gave her an alluring air.
As for her attire, she wore black shrine-maiden robes befitting the part, striped faintly with yellow and red, and for all the abundance of her chest, her shoulders remained slender; from her generous hips, plump thighs stretched down toward the floor.
That such a beauty was playing "guess who" behind Yasutaka, an unpopular virgin country bumpkin of the first order, sent a shiver through everyone present.
Yasutaka, meanwhile, had his face melted into a sloppy, love-struck grin.
"Hmmmm?? Who could it be? Momo-chan?"
"Bzzt, wrong~♪"
"Sakura-chan?"
"No~pe~♪"
"Kiku-chan?"
"Oh come on♪ Enough with the jokes already♪"
"Okay, okay, Ume-chan."
"Bzzt, wrong~♪"
"Ehhh? I really can't figure out who it is?"
Yasutaka chatted away happily with the girl, but the people around them trembled just a little.
(((((Sc-scary!!)))))
The onlookers were gripped with fear as the beauty's smile visibly began shifting into something out of a horror tale.
"Here's a hint♪ Could it be these boobs~? Don't these boobs and this voice ring any bells~?"
"Ehh, you mean these outrageous boobs pressing into my back?"
"That's the one~♪"
The beauty kept her horror-movie face while chirping in a cheerful, adorable voice, and Yasutaka kept his sloppy grin right where it was.
...... Or so it seemed, until bit by bit, the color drained from Yasutaka's face.
(((((Hmmmm????)))))
The other customers noticed something was off and tilted their heads.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip...
Cold sweat poured off Yasutaka in a rush as he trembled violently and stammered.
"U-uh... hold on... as far as I know, there's only one person with boobs this big who'd press 'em against my back..."
"Did you finally remember~?"
The beauty's smile turned utterly ferocious, and Yasutaka's face went dead white with certainty.
The voice that came out of him next had completely cracked.
"Uhh... um... Lady Mani-hime? Maybe?"
"Ding. Ding. Ding~♪"
With that, the beauty wrapped her arms tight around Yasutaka from behind.