I was rewatching my own stream, and the anxiety was giving me a stomachache.
"She's the number one VTuber in Japan... life advice may be my strong suit, but the experience gap is overwhelming."
The me on the screen going back and forth with the Captain was talkative enough, sure, but that was inside a safe zone: my own channel, my own listeners at my back.
And at that point I still didn't even know who I was talking to.
The next match is on her channel.
She overwhelms me on fan numbers, and the gap in name recognition is wide enough that I might be fighting in a completely hostile room.
Under that kind of pressure, can I really go toe to toe with a battle-hardened veteran like the Captain?
"Big sis."
Yui turned around. For some reason she was wearing a bold little smirk.
"Nervous after all?"
"Obviously..."
"Right? Which is why I've prepared some very special training."
That look on Yui's face. That's her scheming face...
"To beat the Captain in twenty days, the only route is leveling up your one weapon. Life advice."
"You mean I train at giving life advice?"
"I call it: Operation Thousand-Insult Gauntlet from Hell!"
Yui puffed out her chest, thoroughly pleased with herself.
"Right, let's head over there!"
What kind of plan is that. I have nothing but bad feelings.
◇
[One hour later — somewhere in Tokyo]
"Huh? This is... a call center?"
I looked up at the sign on the grimy little tenant building, and a bad feeling ran through my whole body.
"CRISIS CALL CENTER — 5,000 yen an hour! Start today!"
"Big sis, first I want you to interview here."
"Interview? Don't tell me. I took time off work so I could work here?"
"Yep, short-term. Just one week."
I refused with everything I had.
"No, no, no! There is no way I can handle complaint calls! I'm bad at talking to people to begin with!"
"It's fine. This is the secret weapon against the Captain."
Yui bulldozed me, and before I knew it I was sitting in a dim little interview room.
"Ah, Ms. Tanaka. Your sister told me about you."
The middle-aged man interviewing me had, for some reason, the eyes of a dead fish.
"Um, I don't have any experience with phone support..."
"Experience? Ah, that's irrelevant here."
The man produced a dry laugh.
"This is a specialist unit the industry calls the bloodbath call center. We handle nothing but blown-up complaint cases for major corporations."
What is that supposed to... nothing but blown-up cases?
"Only the cases the AI has classified as impossible for a human get routed to us. Average time on the job is three hours. Lasting a day is a miracle. Lasting a week makes you a legend."
"Um... the AI says it's impossible, and you do it anyway?"
"Which is why it pays five thousand an hour. The moment you think of yourself as human, you lose. Do you still want the job?"
Five thousand an hour... three hundred fifty thousand for a week...
This place is a sweatshop, no question.
But, but, to beat the best in Japan I'm in no position to be picky about methods.
Soft training is worthless.
Even Goku trained until he was half dead.
"O-okay. I-I'll do it!"
Panic had wrecked my judgment.
[Next morning — the training room]
"Good morning, everyone♪"
The woman running the training waved with a beaming smile. Early thirties, neat suit, carrying herself with the polish of a flight attendant.
What was unsettling was that the smile never slipped, not for a single instant, like a mask.
"My name is Shizuka Onizuka♪ From today I'll be serving as your guide into hell♪"
There were about fifteen new hires seated in the room, me included.
Every one of them wore a faintly resigned expression.
"First, a quick check. Did everyone write their will before coming in?"
"Aha♪ I'm joking♪ Although some people really do write one♪"
Is this woman— no, is this company okay?
"From today you'll be processing the worst complaints in all of Japan♪ Please think of abuse from customers as tough love♪"
"Always, always begin a customer call with 'I am terribly sorry'♪ However unreasonable the demand, come back with 'You're absolutely right'♪"
"Never, ever talk back♪"
"You don't actually need to listen properly, in fact. Think of it as verbal noise♪"
"Otherwise... your mind won't hold up♪"
I was shaking. The mood in here was pure soldiers-shipping-out-to-the-front.
Hold on, isn't there something wrong with this?
The "life advice training" Yui talked about, that's practice at being the one giving the advice, right?
But this way round, I'm the one getting abused.
Don't tell me. Did Yui trick me from the start?
"I cried here too, at first♪ But now I can take any injustice at all with a smile♪ Human beings are wonderful, aren't they♪ Getting used to things is terrifying, isn't it♪"
Every face in the room went pale at Onizuka's deranged smile.
[Live calls: begin]
Brrrring...
The phone in front of me rang.
"Thank you for calling the Crisis Call Center, Tanaka speaking."
"Oi! Your company's joke of a service, do something about it!"
Screaming three seconds in. My heart nearly stopped.
"I am terribly sorry... which matter would this be regarding..."
"The thing I ordered yesterday hasn't come! What are you going to do about it!"
With shaking hands I worked the computer. The order history showed it was placed at midnight last night.
"Sir, I'm terribly sorry, but standard delivery takes two to three days..."
"Two to three days? Don't screw with me! Bring it now!"
"You run it over here yourself, right now! That's what respect for a customer looks like!"
"Um... I'm very sorry, but physically..."
"Physically? Don't care! It's a question of attitude!"
It makes no sense. But I have to respond the way we were taught.
"I am terribly sorry... I am terribly sorry..."
"All you do is apologize! Do something!"
Slam!
The line went dead. I sat there in a daze.
Brutal.
But, wait. This might be a lot like anti comments on a stream.
In the sense that caring means losing, maybe the trick is to forget it fast.
[Two hours later]
Five of the new hires had already gone home in tears.
Brrrring...
This time it was a woman's voice.
"Um, excuse me, it's about the cosmetics I ordered the other day."
The calm tone came as a relief.
"Yes, thank you for calling. How may I..."
"I don't like the color, so I'd like to return it."
"Certainly. If it's unopened..."
"I did use it a little, but that's fine, right?"
"I'm terribly sorry, but opened products..."
"Ehh? Isn't that a bit strange?"
"I mean, you can't tell whether a color suits you without trying it, can you."
"Th-that's true, but under the terms..."
"Terms? If you were thinking about the customer, the terms wouldn't matter, would they?"
"I spent my valuable time on this product, you know?"
"How are you going to take responsibility for making me waste it?"
The torrent of unreason scrambled my brain.
None of it follows. But I'm not allowed to talk back.
"I am terribly sorry... I'll check with my supervisor..."
What is this.
Honestly, the anti comments had more creativity to them.
[Four hours later]
The new hire next to me stood up, face bright red.
"I can't! I can't do this anymore!"
She threw down the handset and ran out.
Everyone gives up sooner than I expected.
Maybe it's from being raised as the eldest daughter, but I've got a fairly high tolerance for putting up with things.
I always thought being the eldest was a raw deal, but at times like this it comes in handy.
I focused on my own line. The phone rang again.
"Oi. What's happening with that thing from before."
It was the man from the first call.
"I am terribly sorry, and thank you for your time earlier..."
"If you get it then hurry the hell up! So when are you bringing my stuff?"
"I'm terribly sorry, but delivery is handled by the courier..."
"That's why I'm telling you to bring it yourself!"
"Can't you do what a customer tells you?!"
The sheer arrogance made something spike in me.
But I held it down with everything I had. I'm not allowed to talk back.
"I am terribly sorry... I am terribly sorry..."
If this were a stream, I'd have roasted him by now.
"All you do is apologize! Somebody fire this useless woman!"
"Incompetent! Human garbage! Trash! You've got no right to be alive!"
That one actually stuck in my chest.
My parents were kind and strict both, so that I'd grow into a decent person.
But those thirteen years of mine after the two of them died. Maybe I really was human garbage.
Am I living up to what they hoped for?
Right. Which is exactly why I have to endure this.
This is training.
I'm going to awaken Super YUICA and become a golden-haired warrior.
"I am terribly sorry..."
[Six hours later]
In the end I was the only one left.
Every other new hire had gone home crying.
Onizuka, the trainer, came over sounding concerned.
"Ms. Tanaka, are you all right? You really don't have to push yourself♪"
"I'm fine... I'll keep going..."
Compared to the Captain's machine-gun roasting, anyway.
Thirty-six years of swallowed resentment. This isn't enough to break me.
If you give up, that's when the game is over.
Who'd have thought the day would come when I actually felt that line. I've grown.
Brrrring...
The phone rang again. This time a low male voice.
"Oi, I cancelled that order earlier and it still hasn't gone through."
This guy again.
I'll name him the Complaint Demon King. He may be the strongest enemy in this RPG.
"I am terribly sorry, let me check..."
On my screen, the cancellation had completed thirty minutes ago.
"Sir, on our system the cancellation shows as complete..."
"Don't lie to me! I haven't got the email yet!"
"Due to the way the system works, the email takes a little time..."
"The way the system works? I don't know anything about that!"
"Your company's system being garbage is not my problem!"
"Send the email now! Do it by hand, do whatever, just send it!"
It's absurd. But I have to endure.
"I am terribly sorry... I'll check with the systems team..."
"The systems team? You do it!"
"What are you even sitting there for! Decoration?!"
"You're wasting my valuable time!"
"A useless woman like you should be at home cooking dinner!"
At home... cooking dinner, did he say?
Something in my head made a small cracking sound.
"You're a loser who can't even get married, right?"
"Any company that trusts important work to a woman like that is stupid!"
"A woman like you has no reason to be alive, so quit already!"
No reason to be alive. And what about you, then?
Something in my head made another sound.
"Oi! Are you listening! Answer me!"
"Ugly, incompetent, useless, and you've got the nerve to act superior!"
"I'd love to see your parents' faces! Bet they look like idiots!"
My parents' faces. What the hell would you know.
"That won't be possible. My parents... have already passed away."
The other end of the line went silent for a beat.
"Huh? ...So what."
His voice wavered for a second, then snapped straight back to its aggressive tone.
"Th-then they must be crying about it in the next world!"
"Leaving a defective daughter like you behind, I bet they died full of regret!"
"Ahahahahaha!"
Crack, crack, crack... shatter.
In that instant I heard something inside me break completely.
Did this thing just... make a joke out of my parents?
The parents who wore themselves out raising me and Yui. My parents.
"...Excuse me?"
My voice had dropped an octave.
"Huh? What's with that attitude?"
The man on the other end of the line sounded, for a moment, like he'd flinched.
But it's too late.
Something inside me had fully woken up.
(Continued in Part 2)