Meanwhile, at that very moment...
Granny Moon was dreaming.
(So this is what they call a life flashing before your eyes...)
She was watching the very vision said to appear at the moment of death.
More often than not, when a person is dying, they're in dire straits indeed.
And so, it's said, the mind reels back through the whole of one's life, hunting for some scrap of wisdom that might yet pull them free from the crisis at hand...
Now, as for the vision Granny Moon actually saw...
"Ahhn♡ Right theeere♡"
"Mmm, yesss♡ Right there's the spot♡"
"I'm feeling it sooo good♡ More, moooore♡"
What Granny Moon was watching looked less like a life flashing before her eyes and more like the complete boxed set of her own adult films.
(Say what you will, but I sure did get around with all manner of men...)
Scene after scene paraded past, each one bound to get flagged instantly by any decency board worth its salt.
Amid it all, though, one memory stood out above the rest.
Thwap...
A younger Granny Moon took a blow to the belly from nothing more than a stick of rolled-up paper.
In those days she'd been a devastatingly alluring young beauty, the sort who took a new man practically every day.
Her frame hadn't even finished growing, and there was still a trace of girlish innocence about her, and yet the sensuality she gave off was something fierce.
For all that beauty, though, this particular Granny Moon stood frozen in shock, felled by a single blow from a tall, doddering old man.
"Why..."
Her face went white.
And she had good reason for it.
(...Back in those days I'd never lost to a soul, and yet this man alone got the better of me...)
His legs shook, his back was bent nearly double, he looked like a stiff wind might topple him, and yet she never dreamed he'd actually land a hit.
The setting was a tatami room in some inn or other, or so it seemed.
The two of them had agreed to a sparring match, but seeing as they were indoors, real blades were out of the question, so they'd settled for sticks of rolled-up paper instead, and even so, she'd gone down without so much as a fight.
The old man grinned, delighted with himself.
"My win, I'd say... now then, let me have my prize~"
Granny Moon scowled, wounded pride plain on her face, at the lecherous grin spreading across his.
(It wasn't as if bedding some old geezer was anything new to me, but losing at swordplay, now that was a first... Sure, there wasn't much riding on the match, but having my pride shattered like that stung something awful...)
Back in her prime, Granny Moon had ranked among the finest Kabukimono around, and at the time she hadn't a rival in the whole town.
And yet this old coot had shown up out of nowhere and beaten her without even trying.
The old man licked his lips and grinned lecherously.
"Making a headstrong woman see reason, now that's the finest pleasure there is..."
"Grr... ...just kill me!"
The old man laughed at her ridiculous outburst.
"Hyoh hyoh hyoh! Such a beauty, killed? What a waste. Don't you worry none... you won't regret it, not one bit... now then, come here..."
The instant the old man took her hand...
...her knees buckled.
All the strength drained out of Granny Moon's body.
"Ah... hah..."
In one smooth motion, the old man leaned in and kissed her.
And then...
"!!!!!"
Granny Moon's eyes flew wide!
A sensation unlike anything she'd ever felt shot clean through her entire body.
(Never in my life have I been more shocked than in that moment...)
For all that he looked like a doddering old fool, his kiss was frighteningly skilled.
That alone was enough to melt every last bit of resistance from her, leaving her utterly at his mercy.
The old man smirked.
"Now then... let me savor you proper."
"W-wait..."
(What followed, he made good and sure I'd never forget it...)
Granny Moon couldn't help a rueful, wincing smile.
And then, in no time at all, the years slipped past...
Thwap...
Once again, Granny Moon took a blow to the belly from a rolled-up paper stick.
By this point she'd aged through and through, well and truly withered into an old woman.
But she wasn't washed up yet, not by a long shot, still boasting a strength that would put many a youngster to shame.
And this time, the one who'd landed the blow on her was, of all things, a mere child who hadn't even come of age.
"Yes! Finally got one in!"
The boy pumped his fist, beaming with delight.