"All right, let's get started."
"Coming right up~♪ (sultry voice)"
With that, the woman beyond the steam drew nearer...
"Thank you kindly for your patronage~♪ (sultry voice)"
"OI, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU DAMN OLD HAG!!"
Catching sight of the bathhouse girl who'd appeared, Yasutaka flew into a blind rage.
And who should step out but Granny Moon!
This old woman gripped a bed of nails in her right hand and a grater in her left, with a pair of enormous konjac balls slung from her shoulders and tucked in against her chest.
So the quivering thing from earlier had been those konjac balls all along.
Granny Moon tilted her head to one side and asked, as if genuinely puzzled:
"Is something the matter, honored guest? (sultry voice)"
"First off, cut that voice out! It's driving me up the wall!"
"My, what a demanding customer..."
Yasutaka said this with a vein bulging on his forehead, glaring at Granny Moon's smirking face.
"And just what in the hell are those konjac balls for, anyway!?"
"Heh... I knew something like this might happen! So I bought a pair ahead of time!"
"Let me get this straight. Exactly what situation did you have in mind?"
Yasutaka's face went slack with disbelief as Granny Moon jiggled her mysterious giant konjac balls and grinned.
"Well, well, perhaps my Brain-Killer Body is simply too much stimulation for cherry boys like the two of you..."
"Shut your mouth, you dried-up old hag!"
"Also. Don't lump me in with him. I've actually done it before, normally."
Yasutaka fumed at Granny Moon's taunting while Mōha bristled at being lumped in as a virgin, and through it all Granny Moon calmly clacked her bed of nails against her grater.
"So then, which shall it be? I do recommend shredding the skin with the grater first, then working the meat over with the bed of nails."
"That's just torture, plain and simple!"
With that, Yasutaka swung to punch her, but...
Hop!
Granny Moon dodged, easy as you please.
"What's wrong, cherry boy? Too dazzled by my Brain-Killer Body to land a punch?"
"Why, you—!"
He swung again, but...
Hop, hop, hoppity-hop!
His fist didn't so much as graze her.
Yasutaka's fury only grew at the sight of her unbothered, smirking face.
"You damn old hag!"
"Hyo hyo hyo hyo hyo♪"
He threw in kicks and headbutts along with his punches, but none of it grazed her in the slightest.
And then...
"There you go♪"
SMACK!
"Gyagh!"
Granny Moon swung one of the konjac balls dangling from her shoulder straight into Yasutaka's face!
He took the clean hit square on, staggering back on unsteady feet.
"Why, you—!"
He swung to hit her again, but...
"Wha— where'd she go!?"
Granny Moon had vanished into thin air!
As Yasutaka scrambled to find her, Mōha shouted!
"Taka! Behind you!"
"What!?"
Yasutaka spun around in a panic, but Granny Moon was already grinning ear to ear.
"Brain-Killer! Sexy Dynamite Crush♡"
SHLORP!
Granny Moon's finger-jab plunged straight into Yasutaka's backside!
And mind you, she went in bare-fingered, driving it so deep that her finger reached clean into his bowels!
Shrieking out a finger-jab no sane person would ever dream of attempting, Granny Moon cried:
"Rin! Pyō! Tō! Sha! Kai! Jin! Retsu! Zai! Zen!"
"GOGUGEGASHAGA!"
With her finger still buried in his backside, Granny Moon began forming hand seals, while Yasutaka let out a scream beyond all description!!
His back teeth chattered and clattered uncontrollably!
"HA!"
"GUGEEH!"
At the very instant of Granny Moon's spirited battle cry, Yasutaka convulsed and collapsed.
Twitch, twitch, twitch, twitch...
While Yasutaka lay there spasming on the ground, Granny Moon stood tall and triumphant.
"Ah, I've gone and skewered something worthless again..."
"If you didn't want to do it, don't do it..."
Granny Moon sniffed at her fingertip while Mōha looked on, thoroughly unimpressed.
"Anyway, why'd you show up so suddenly?"
"Ah, right. The princess noticed there was a bathhouse girl about and asked me to come check on things, so this cockroach wouldn't try anything funny."
"Damn, she's got him pegged."
Mōha was stunned at how thoroughly Yasutaka's antics had been seen through from the start.
"Well, after all that, I doubt he'll be trying anything now... Farewell!"
With that, Granny Moon strode out of the steam room.
Mōha looked down at the collapsed Yasutaka and sighed in disbelief.
"So what do we do with this?"
Figuring he ought to at least get Yasutaka out of the steam room, Mōha hoisted him up onto his shoulder.